darkweb | Sidereal IC Inbox

[He follows automatically, his attention focused on the conversation.]

More than usual, you think? I feel like I've seen a lot of new faces wandering around, so that would only make sense...

I think if you had arrived at the same time as me, things would have turned out a lot more dramatically.

[Not that Taranza didn't try hard to make it dramatic. BUT IT WAS ONE-SIDED!]

Haha, you're right about that. I would have acted very differently if we'd turned up together! I probably would have convinced myself I didn't care to change your opinion on me.

[But he would have been sad deep down, and in denial about that, and it would have sucked, and he knows it. He had not exactly been a happy person his first weeks here, and a situation like that would only have made it worse. He squeezes Taranza's hand as they settle in.]

That's too sad...

[He pulls some cheesecake closer to him. HE'S SAD THINKING ABOUT THIS AU! HE NEEDS TO COMFORT HIMSELF WITH CHEESECAKE!]

It's not real, so don't dwell on it. I do think things would have worked out somehow in the end, you know? Just differently.

[He leans over to peck Taranza's cheek, then grab his own plate. Cheesecake!!]

You think so...? But! Either way, it's not really worth thinking about!

[It's weird to, for once, be experiencing a what-if that is darker than what actually happened. And it's also weird that it keeps sticking to his brain the same way regardless. He is going to try hard to eat this cheesecake and focus on the present moment.]

Unless you want to think about it for fun, so that I can comfort you from your sadness...buuuut I guess we should wait until we actually do the things I invited you over for first! Maybe later, though. ♥

Mmm... Right. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind.

[He tilts his head slightly, waiting for Magolor to decide the order of operations there.]

I always have a lot on my mind. So I don't want to make it sound more serious than it is or anything like that. Buuuut I know myself, and it'd be too easy for me to use that excuse to not say anything at all . . . which I'd rather not do. So here we are. Er, first of all, you're cool about the Reigen thing? I'm not dating him now or anything. Actually, I haven't seen him around since then . . .

So you just had sex with him...? And that's it?

[Taranza is genuinely struggling to understand Magolor's perspective, and so his tone is relatively neutral. He even purposefully omits for no reason? as it sounds judgmental and possibly inaccurate.

Of course it's hard for him to shake his tendency to search for the Right Answer in providing his own reaction, but either way, understanding the situation is key to proceeding any further.]

[He goes to pour the tea, nodding.]

That's it! That's not something I plan on making a habit of, because it's not my preference either. I guess I was curious about what it'd be like. And it was a lot of fun, but I can already have a lot of fun with you, so I won't be going out of my way again! I don't really know how he's going to act about it . . . if he really does like me and wants to get to know me better so we can maybe date, I'll at least get to know him and see how I feel, unless you have a problem with that. But I have no idea if he'll ever bring it up again! It could just forever be something that happened once.

I don't have a problem with it...

[More accurately, he isn't sure how to think about it at all, and is having a tough time deciding. Something makes him feel uneasy, and although he doesn't know what it is, he gets the feeling that figuring it out is going to be part of this conversation.]

I mean, it's fine.

[Then why did he just automatically say that!! Aaahhh!! HE PANICKED,]

[He flicks his ears as he brings over the tea and settles again. Hmmmm. Those two responses didn't quite go together, and that deserves poking at gently!]

Is it really? Look...I want to be as sure of this as we can be before anyone gets hurt, you know? Even if that's not one hundred percent sure, that's fine and all. But I need to do what I can to take care of you too! The truth is, it's not a thing with Reigen, but there is someone else interested. We're not dating right now, just getting to know each other and if we like each other like that. But I'm not going to just do those things without talking to you. You're way too important for that!

[He peers down at the teacup and realizes he forgot to ask what kind of tea it is. But, maybe it being caffeinated would be good for him at this point. He decides not to ask before pulling it closer.]

I don't know. I'm really glad you feel that way about me, but it's not like I'm going to tell you that you should stop talking to anyone... And if you really like someone, I'm glad if they like you back!

[LET'S SAY IT'S NOT although that would sure be a direction for this thread to go in, but no it's an herbal one. this time

Magolor cups his own mug of tea near his face and hums.]

Well, if course you're not, and I wouldn't listen to you if you did! But I can be just friends with people too. That's what I mean. The people I like, like this person I mentioned—his name is Kurogiri, by the way! Anyway, I'd be happy just being friends with him too. It's not like I'd lose him entirely if nothing happened between us. That's why it's a lot more important to me that you and I are on the same page . . . I'd rather have only you as a lover than have five other lovers, but lose you in the process. Make sense?

I, I'm really glad you feel that way... But you wouldn't lose me! You're not going to lose me over something like that!

[He got too flattered by this hypothetical and forgot to get back to identifying whatever his problem actually is. Hmmm. He takes a long sip of tea as he tries to backtrack.]

Ummm. But, no, I mean... If it were me, and I wanted to date someone, I would want to keep dating them no matter what... probably. Even if I decided not to actually do it. And from my point of view as your boyfriend, if you want something, I want you to have it!

[TARANZA . . . ! Once any tea is safely out of the way, Magolor leans over to kiss him sweetly, mwah!]

You're truly kind and supportive . . . ! I really don't mind if you want to be selfish sometimes, you know? You wouldn't lose me for that either. I'm all about selfishness! But hearing you say something like that makes me happy, too. I'm all warm inside!

Ehehe...

[Now that they're both so happy he doesn't even want to try and figure out what it is at the back of his mind. But it will keep bothering him if he doesn't try!]

I dunno... I think my selfishness is different than yours is.

[Magolor just squishes in next to Taranza and goes back to his tea with a pleased hum. Cozy!]

Hmm, what's it like, then? I want to know all about it.

...Umm. I know you said at the beginning that we both love other people too, which is technically true and all, but...

I-Is it okay if I don't want to date anyone else?? I know it makes it kind of weird and lopsided...

Hmm? That's okay with me . . . I'm not sure how it's selfish, either! If you ever did want to, I'd be fine with it, of course. But if you don't, I don't expect you to force yourself or anything. I know some people only like one person at a time!

It's selfish when you're thinking about so many people and I'm only thinking about you! I could eat up all your time really easily if I was actually being that selfish.

[Even if he's getting a little more openly upset, he does feel relieved to have finally uncovered what it is that makes him uneasy about the situation.]

I see...

[He murmurs, thoughtfully and gently, and then reaches out to play with the ends of Taranza's hair a little.]

That's fine. I'm selfish too, because even though it's probably not the right thing to feel this way, I still like hearing you only want to think about me! ...The truth is, it is hard work dating more than one person, even though I'm having fun and I really love you both...because you truly deserve all of my time you want! I feel pretty bad that I can't magically give one hundred percent of my time each to you, Kei, and myself, since I do also love me. I'm just doing my best.

I... I'm doing my best too! So it's really fine! And, you're always so nice to me, and I'm really touched by your feelings for me, so even if we saw each other ten times less often than we do, I'd still feel happy every day thinking about it!

—Do you really like hearing it?

[Because if he gets too much encouragement he will continue to let his true obsessive power level slip, like just now.]

[OH NO. Magolor is definitely not one to NOT encourage people obsessing over him so that will just have to be how it is, hmm,

He is much more concerned right now with cozying up to Taranza than with his tea or cheesecake.]

I do! I'm shameless, sorry! And I can be just a little bit overbearing and clingy, so of course I have a selfish interest in your devotion...! As long as it doesn't make you unhappy.

I'm not unhappy at all...! I just get a little worried sometimes.

[He allows himself to indulge in leaning back against Magolor though. Overbearing and clingy!]

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